The Fear Factor

Only if we conquer fear can we begin to live. 
And there are many ways of doing so

 

This week, we will continue to discuss the topic of fear. A fear can be healthy if it cautions a person about anything that can be dangerous. But sometimes a fear is unnecessary and triggers more caution than the situation calls for. And most people develop a hatred for that which they often fear.

While fear is an emotion indispensable for our survival, only when we are no longer afraid do we actually begin to live.

Mike Tyson (the youngest boxer ever to win and lose a world heavyweight title) explains it well : “Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can’t control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn.”

Perhaps the most important thing we can do to reduce fear is to make it easier for people to accept and like themselves. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive - the risk to be alive and express what we really are.

Experience has taught me that silence terrifies people the most. “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature” says Anne Frank, author of The Diary of a Young Girl - which documents her experiences during the German occupation of the Netherlands in World War II.)

Meditation and yoga are two useful ways of putting negative thoughts and emotions to rest. I have also learned over the years that when one’s mind is prepared to face something, it diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.

Do remember Bertrand Russell’s advice : “To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” 

There are various ways to deal with your own fear, including :
• Becoming aware of it
• Identifying the ways you express fear
• Recognizing the situations which trigger fear and
• Using behavioral techniques to reduce fear and stress.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

If you feel that fear is getting the better of you, take a moment to pause. Close your eyes, take deep slow breaths and focus your attention on the sound of your breathing.

To prepare for the flight and fight response. your body uses large amounts of glucose in your blood.  It is a good idea to drink something sweet  to quickly replenish blood sugar levels.

Try not to let your mind get carried away with negative thoughts. Focus on the “now”. By living in the moment, you will meet the need in front of you as it arises without getting caught up in the “what-ifs” and “should-haves”.

Learn to let go. Often, after something scares us, we feel the effects long after the event has occurred. Our minds tend to hold on to negative feelings, self-criticisms and apprehension. 

Try letting it all go once the threat has passed and articulate your feelings with someone you trust or a therapist (this is also called “debriefing”).

Look back not in anger, nor forward in fear, but around you in awareness, for as Percy Bysshe Shelley puts it “Fear not for the future, weep not for the past”.  

I have accepted fear as a part of life - specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Keep sharing your fears and concerns,

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Thought for the Week

“Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it...
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”
Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)
Self-improvement Writer & Developer
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First published in Gray Matter - The Hindustan Times